i've been put in my place

Last night, I was cocky.  Tonight?  Not so much.

I've always had it easy when it came to school.  But now I'm in college and it's a completely different ball game.  I'm one of the "smart kids" that seem to just absorb everything and be able to spit it back out upon request.  That's not how it works in college.  In college, you have to think for yourself just a little more.  Boy was I not ready for that.  I didn't change anything about my study habits from high school.  I did my work but at the last minute.  I didn't study very much because I figured I already knew the material. 

I guess I should have known I'd get my lowest GPA ever.  And I guess I should have realized that I could lose both of my scholarships with this GPA.  Ya.  That bad.  I've never been so disappointed in myself (and yes I cried a little).  I didn't even try that hard this semester.  I never try hard because its always come easy to me.  Not any more.  My first semester of college was indeed a wake up call.  I've always just gotten by on everything.  Sometimes I was better at things only because of my reputation but really, I'm not any better than anyone else.  And why this has taken me so long to realize, I have no idea.  But now I do.  Trust me. 

Well.  That's my pity party.  And here's my resolution to do better.  Next semester, I'm going to actually sit down and do my school work.  As much as I want to make my savings grow, I'm going to cut back on my work hours.  I need to realize I'm a full-time college student.  And maybe for once in my life I'll finally put in some effort.